Hello. I am Gitte and I have recently noticed I am not nearly as strange as I imagined. It’s a little disappointing to be honest. My weirdness was something I could hold onto, I could hide behind it like a little kid standing nervously behind a big, strong parent when being introduced to someone. It’s beginning to change now.
Ever since I can remember I have been nervous, I have felt awkward and different than others and thus I have chosen to hide away, socially isolating myself. My therapist called it ‘social anxiety‘ and I suppose the label fits quite well although I am not really too comfortable with being labelled. The only good thing about that stamp on my forehead is that I can Google it and find that I am not alone. There are thousands (if not millions) worldwide who feel exactly like I do.
Until a couple of weeks ago I would hide away and be quite certain that those numbers were wrong. IF others felt anxious and nervous as well, I was quite sure that my ‘condition’ was much worse than theirs. I suppose that’s part of the anxiety, the lack of confidence and the negative thoughts that spin around in one’s head uncontrollably.
Anyway, I have ventured out a bit lately and I have seen some weird shit. Believe me. Especially one individual makes me go ‘seriously, you’re this strange and you are not ashamed of it?’ – it made me question my own uniqueness. Unique as in ‘much more anxious than others’.
Perhaps this image in my head of a woman who gets absolutely nothing and looks horrific, says everything the wrong way at the wrong time and doesn’t have a chance for happiness ever .. is wrong. Big question mark in my head tonight!
- I’m not weird, I just suffer from anxiety (pseudofreudo.wordpress.com)
- Is it normal to worry 24 hours a day? (zocdoc.com)
- Social Anxiety = Conversations?! Run for your life! (recoveringfromsocialanxiety.wordpress.com)