Dumped like a sack of potatoes

I remember it like it was yesterday. We were having a few problems (ex boyfriend and I) and I had gone on my bike to go see him. 20 minutes of headwind while my mind raced: “What am I gonna say to him?”  – turns out I didn’t have to worry. He was in no mind to speak to me. It was kind of a stormy relationship to begin with but what happened when I arrived really threw me for a loop.  He opened the door, looked at me with the coldest stare I had ever gotten from anyone and said : “I want you to leave, we’re done“. No explanation. I remembered stammering “B..b..but errr…what’s happening? Can’t we talk?” and he once more said “I just want you to leave, this is over“. And then he sort of lead me to the door and opened it.

Just leave. This is it“.  Door closed. “Conversation” ended. There I was, holding my bike and tears down my face. That was really it, I guess. I was shocked by his behavior. It’s hard to fathom someone seeming loving and kind and then suddenly switching to some cold being that you don’t recognize. And yet that’s what he was.

Worst way I have ever been dumped. Very humiliating. Of course a few months later he came back and said he just wanted a break; by that time it was me who said “We’re done, this is not going to work“. I offered more of an explanation than he ever did the first time around.

I sometimes wonder what’s the worst way to get dumped? There are many ways of doing it. Face to face might be the only good way to go about it but then again, that’s what happened to me in a very cold and unfeeling manner. I wish he’d wrapped it up a little nicer at the time. Now I don’t care anymore, moved on of course. But for those who understand how to dump someone respectfully, face to face might be the way to go.

Then of course there’s the telephone. Or email or letter. Choosing to break up via telephone might spare one the drama but then again, it does seems a little cowardly to avoid the confrontation of being in the same room. Text message or letter is just totally the wrong way to go about dumping someone. Of course you get to pick and choose your words without interruptions but wow, can you be any more cold and unfeeling? I doubt it.

That’s not even the dumbest way to dump someone.

You know the type, right? They’ll just choose to suddenly ignore you and stop communicating altogether or choose the other terrible option: Finding someone else and THEN dumping you. Both ways are idiotic. If you’re the one doing the dumping, please stop to think about what you’re doing. Would you really wanna be dumped by being ignored and then seeing your so-called partner out on the town with someone else? I don’t think so.

Just because you’re not gonna be together anymore doesn’t mean you don’t need to show respect in the dumping process.

My thought is the only way to handle it is be honest, offer an explanation and then show some respect whilst being firm in your decision. That’s how I’d wanna be dumped!

Not by some guy closing the door on me after six months – right after going “I just want you to leave. We’re done”.

How about you? Share your worst dumping story?

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4 thoughts on “Dumped like a sack of potatoes

  1. How about after seven years, while I’m on vacation out of state, and three days before I’m scheduled to move in to our new apartment? I walk in with my key to talk–because I thought we were still salvagable–and he coldy tells me to leave, sign off on the lease, and leave the spare key in the office.

    The shock was one thing, then there was the initial back-and-forth uncertainty of his decision, and finally there was the sad reality that he simply doesn’t love me anymore. It truly was like speaking with someone I didn’t know, and after 7 years, it was unfathomable. But I guess the worst thing is that I thought I knew him; I never imagined someone could make me feel so insignificant. A week has passed and I’m lost, confused, sad, and terrified. I simply hope to one day find myself in the place you are now: self-assured and able to let go.

  2. Wow what a story! First of all, thanks for sharing it so openly. I can’t believe some people! It’s quite frightening, isn’t it? You think you know somebody so well and then it’s suddenly like you mean absolutely nothing to them. Actually the same thing happened to me again only recently. What I posted here was an old story but yep, it has happened again. Dumped, not needed. Now I sit with this feeling of being unwanted and totally lost. I am NOT self-assured, I literally begged him to stay with me. Maybe I just don’t understand men. How do they move on so easily?

    • I asked a good friend that same question last night. She’s a little older, married, and seemingly been through this herself years ago. She believes men may look like they’re moving on, but in reality they’re simply distracting themselves from having to think about and deal with what’s happened. It makes a little sense and at least explains why they so readily go out with their friends, play sports/video games, and dive back into work with no problem. Otherwise, we’ve just been unfortunate enough to fall in love with heartless men who don’t recognize the damage they’ve done. I don’t know…

      • I think perhaps I just don’t understand men. They have a different way of thinking, different way of coping with emotions. I am just quick to react because I want a guy to show some emotion about leaving me.. but I guess the emotion is more shut off .. than mine is. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

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