I remember it like it was yesterday. We were having a few problems (ex boyfriend and I) and I had gone on my bike to go see him. 20 minutes of headwind while my mind raced: “What am I gonna say to him?” – turns out I didn’t have to worry. He was in no mind to speak to me. It was kind of a stormy relationship to begin with but what happened when I arrived really threw me for a loop. He opened the door, looked at me with the coldest stare I had ever gotten from anyone and said : “I want you to leave, we’re done“. No explanation. I remembered stammering “B..b..but errr…what’s happening? Can’t we talk?” and he once more said “I just want you to leave, this is over“. And then he sort of lead me to the door and opened it.
“Just leave. This is it“. Door closed. “Conversation” ended. There I was, holding my bike and tears down my face. That was really it, I guess. I was shocked by his behavior. It’s hard to fathom someone seeming loving and kind and then suddenly switching to some cold being that you don’t recognize. And yet that’s what he was.
Worst way I have ever been dumped. Very humiliating. Of course a few months later he came back and said he just wanted a break; by that time it was me who said “We’re done, this is not going to work“. I offered more of an explanation than he ever did the first time around.
I sometimes wonder what’s the worst way to get dumped? There are many ways of doing it. Face to face might be the only good way to go about it but then again, that’s what happened to me in a very cold and unfeeling manner. I wish he’d wrapped it up a little nicer at the time. Now I don’t care anymore, moved on of course. But for those who understand how to dump someone respectfully, face to face might be the way to go.
Then of course there’s the telephone. Or email or letter. Choosing to break up via telephone might spare one the drama but then again, it does seems a little cowardly to avoid the confrontation of being in the same room. Text message or letter is just totally the wrong way to go about dumping someone. Of course you get to pick and choose your words without interruptions but wow, can you be any more cold and unfeeling? I doubt it.
That’s not even the dumbest way to dump someone.
You know the type, right? They’ll just choose to suddenly ignore you and stop communicating altogether or choose the other terrible option: Finding someone else and THEN dumping you. Both ways are idiotic. If you’re the one doing the dumping, please stop to think about what you’re doing. Would you really wanna be dumped by being ignored and then seeing your so-called partner out on the town with someone else? I don’t think so.
Just because you’re not gonna be together anymore doesn’t mean you don’t need to show respect in the dumping process.
My thought is the only way to handle it is be honest, offer an explanation and then show some respect whilst being firm in your decision. That’s how I’d wanna be dumped!
Not by some guy closing the door on me after six months – right after going “I just want you to leave. We’re done”.
How about you? Share your worst dumping story?