There is no prince charming, ladies

When I was a little girl, I was in love with Barbie. I must have had over 80 Barbie dolls and they had a house and a dog and a horse to ride around on. Barbie also had Ken who was her love interest in the beginning of all my games but the relationship developed from mere friendship into everlasting love in a matter of 15 minutes. One day Ken cheated on Barbie with some bimbo (another doll) who had set her eyes on him even though he was married. You know the type. Ken came home from work, casually threw his jacket over a chair and Barbie was in the kitchen crying her little, innocent eyes out.
Drama. She had discovered the deceit .

Ken explained everything and he apologized. Promised it would never happen again. Ken and Barbie hugged and made up (I had the door to my room locked for that purpose. How embarrassing if my mom was to walk in when Ken was kissing Barbie! ) .. and it never did happen again. He never, ever cheated again. And they lived happily ever after. No more “I am working late tonight” and “I got a run out to buy cigarettes” and not returning until six hours later.
I also watched Cinderella cartoons. My role models were all these seemingly helpless women , completely lost in the world until their Prince charming came along and made everything okay . I wonder which fool created such a role model for girls !? How about teaching girls to be strong and independent women ? There wasn’t much talk about that when I was a little girl .

 

As I grew a little older , I kept believing that all those married women I knew were truly with their Prince charming but I did begin to realize that being married was not everything that Cinderella promised it would be . It required work and the ability to forgive and move on . Okay . I would surely be able to do that and when I was going to marry , it would be for ever ; there was just no question in my mind about that . I took it absolutely for granted . Having grown up with parents who were married , I did not really have the ability to put myself in the place of a child with divorced parents. I looked at those children and felt sorry for them and I seem to remember my childhood as a time when very few people got divorced. I’m sure that’s not true; I grew up in the 70s and early eighties and of course, people did get divorced. It just never touched my world. Therefore it was absolutely unthinkable for me that I would ever get divorced.
Then I got married . I had a child . This was my goal ever since I was a little girl . I remember a close friend of mine once told me “If you never have a child , there is just no justice in this world “. I wanted a family so badly . I still believed in the fairytale until I was hit with depression , arguments , anxiety , taking care of a baby , bills , bad communication , trying to mix two religions and two different cultures and trying to remember who I was before I entered this new world . We ended up getting a divorce and today I find myself being someone I had never planned I would be.

Maybe that’s the whole purpose being on this planet . Things never go as we plan and we have to adjust to new situations and new people coming in and out of our lives . Whatever happened to Cinderella and Barbie and Ken and happy ever after ? What happened to all those promises ? What happened to the simplicity ?
It was all a lie . I do believe in true love because I see examples of couples who have been together for years and stay together . They just don’t always stay together because of passion and sexual attraction . They stay together for friendship , because they admire something in each other , because they need something from each other . Sex is a part of that – but just a part of it . The world is full of true love. There are married couples still together after 30+ years of marriage , there are divorced couples who remain friendly for the sake of the kids , there are people who volunteer to help others freely and out of the goodness of their heart , there are grandparents who loves spending time with the grandchildren.

You cannot define what true love is. All I know is, if you find love, hold onto it, work hard at keeping it.  Prince charming is not out there, nor is the simple relationship that came along with him. But the world is full of true love.

 

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